From the time we’re old enough to share toys in daycare, we’re taught to compare ourselves to one another.

We first compare possessions; we’re jealous of what others have and what we don’t. The positive side to this stage, is that we really don’t linger on the subject. But heck, we’re 4. We don’t linger on anything except juice and temper tantrums.

Most of us don’t reach the 2nd stage of comparison until we’re in middle school. Comparing physical features. “I’m fatter than her.” “Her hair is prettier than mine.” “I’m ugly, she’s not.” These things cross every. Girl’s. Mind. Without a doubt. It sets the tone for how we deal with comparing ourselves to people for the rest of our life. And most of us never leave this part of life,  leaving a lingering, negative image of ourselves.

Another less obvious thing we compare upon is personality traits. “Do I not have as many friends because I’m…” “Maybe if I was more outgoing I’d..” “It’s because I’m shy that..” “.. is because I try TOO hard..” I used to struggle very deeply with this one and from time to time, it weighs down very heavily on me. Changing an emotional reaction, behavior or your attitude can be the most difficult thing to acclimate yourself to. Because you’re changing you.

I don’t think you’re ever going to be completely, without a doubt content with your looks, possessions, or personality. But it’s up to you to make a change to become the person you want to be. If you’re not comfortable in your own skin, exercise and make better food choices to propel you in the right direction. But by the same token, if you’re happy where you are, stay where you are. If you wanna be a happier person, takes steps towards that; be productive, have a dance party, make a smoothie, do things that make you happy with people who make you happy. If you want that new Too Faced Melted Lipstick, save up for it or take out a loan to fuel your makeup addiction habits (kidding but not kidding)!! The point is to be comfortable with who you are, what you’ve got and how you act. If you find short comings, make healthy changes to reform them.

My biggest tip of all is to come to Jesus with these burdens. Coming closer to him without even touching on these other topics will ultimately help everything around you. Seek Him and the rest will fall into place. Actively read your Bible, actively study your devotions, whole-heartedly pray to God and keep his statutes at the center of your life. He will show you that you are ultimately fearfully and wonderfully made and you should have peace with who He’s created you to be.

I’m no master of self confidence. I’m a teenage girl. I’m HUMAN. I unknowingly compare myself daily without second thought. I think it’s healthy to look up to others and find things in them that inspire you to be an evolving version of yourself. We’re meant to grow, to change, to learn. To feel better about ourselves today than we did yesterday.

Sincerely, Erin

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